


5 People Solnishko Rory Came to Meet +1 Person Who Came to Meet Him

by Hiver_Frost_Elf



Series: STAR Blazers [4]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Chickens Crossing, Deutsch | German, Gen, Mother's Day, Plush Menagerie, You're Never Too Old for Disney
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-01 10:53:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8621725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hiver_Frost_Elf/pseuds/Hiver_Frost_Elf
Summary: 1 & 2 Oma und Opa3 Batman4 & 5 Captain Singh and Rob+1 Mutti





	1. Plot

**Author's Note:**

> Newcomers, welcome! Please read chapter one of all subsequent parts before reading this one.
> 
> Oldcomers, welcome back!

1 & 2 Oma und Opa

Professor Stein looked up from his drudgery of 72s, 24s, and the grand prize winner—a straight up 0—and smiled weakly at his pastel wife handing him a freshly-baked snack and a glass of milk.  Glucose and dairy perfumed the house.  A single bite of one of Clarissa’s sugar cookies with rainbow sprinkles tasted and smelled better than every assignment received from all of their squirrels combined.

Martin had one last test to grade and then he’d be free to enjoy this shining weekend with his wife and surrogate grandsons instead of being encumbered by the odor of underachieving collegiates.  He sighed because he felt conflicted.  If its taker performed as poorly as the rest of his students, he’d be done in ten minutes; yet on the other hand, he yearned for its taker to make him take longer.

Martin couldn’t remember if he even glanced at the name before he began grading it.  He stared at it, befuddled.  He ensured he was wearing his heavy, black glasses.  He wouldn’t put it past himself after he slogged through a thesis that seemed to have survived nuclear warfare until he realized they were chilling on the bookshelf.

Clarissa recognized the name from a portfolio of illustrations all five of their grandchildren insisted she needed to review.  Hardly an hour passed without at least one of them expounding upon about this mysterious artist, “He specializes in chiaroscuro and split-complementary color schemes.”

The Steins lived in the suburbs away from the insanity of downtown.  A hand-painted, wooden sign saying “thank you for removing your shoes” hung beside their door.  Pumpkin spice Mark and goth blond Clyde kicked their boots off while Solnishko—who was wearing his raccoon beanie—politely set his sneakers down and speed-arranged them all by the welcome mat before the twins’ boots hit the wall.

Clyde almost banged on the door when Mark stopped him.  Solnishko trembled and hugged himself.  Mark grounded him with a hand on his shoulder while Clyde said, “Mark and I don’t know jack shit, yet somehow we’re better than Grandma and Grandpa’s actual students.  They both know ASL, and we’re teaching ‘em CSL, and if all else fails, you can write what you want to say cuz they love reading!”

The Mardons’ new scarves—mostly orange yet white at the ends—flapped behind them when they let themselves in, tugging Solnishko inside with them.  Martin and Clarissa welcomed them.  Clarissa inquired with a smile as warm as her desserts, “Is this him, boys?”

Clyde nodded with his teeth showing as Mark signed, “(We didn’t stick around the first time we met because we didn’t believe somebody would ever want both of us, but we’re at peace with that decision because it would’ve taken us a lot longer to meet our little buddy if we stayed.)”

Clyde handed Clarissa a quilt, “You knitted us scarves and cooked us dinner all those years ago and knitted us new scarves this year, so we finally got our asses in gear to make something for you!  Mark designed it while I did all the actual work.” Mark bunted Clyde’s arm. “Most of the work.” Mark bunted Clyde’s arm again. “I may not be able to spell half the words in the English language, but I can math, and I’d say I did at least 40% of the work.” The quilt was a checkerboard of Labradors, hyenas, German shepherds, hamsters, penguins, border collies, rough collies, foxes, and raccoons.  Clyde explained, “Everybody’s favorite animals all in one place!”

“I thought you both loved foxes?” Clarissa quizzically scrutinized the raccoons.

“(The raccoons are for Barry,)” Mark signed.

Clarissa offered the boys some cookies and milk after she and her husband put everything on pause to grieve Barry.  Mark and Clyde—perpetual opportunists—snatched them up.  Clyde waved one in front of Solnishko’s nose.  Solnishko budged as much as Crash and Coco do when they’re surrounded by TNT and nitro boxes with zero lives left and no Aku Aku: not an inch.

“(He’s usually super cuddly,)” Mark explained sadly, “(but after fourteen years of nothing new and nobody new, new folks and places freak him out.)”

“Fourteen years?” both elders were appalled.

“(Between Lewis and the bastard who had him, he would’ve been better off with Lewis....  We brought him here today because he has something he wants to ask you, so can he borrow some paper and a pen?)”

Clyde fetched it.  Solnishko was so nervous, he speed-wrote without thinking about it.  The twins tried to calm his hyperventilating horror.  Martin and Clarissa didn’t know much CSL, but they spotted “scientist” and “experiment” and put two and two together from there.

“((All life is precious,))” Martin signed his motto before switching to speaking out loud because he had no clue how to sign what Solnishko to hear in CSL. “Yes, I am a scientist, but I am a family man first and a teacher second.  I would never engage in nonconsensual experimentation.”

Solnishko’s eyes stopped glowing by the time he shuffled over to the kitchen table and handed the elders his letter.  He gulped and trembled as if this day would seal his fate for all eternity.  Clyde wreathed his arms around Solnishko while Mark rubbed Solnishko’s back.

_My portfolio is full of crap and I probably got every single question wrong on the test Iris gave me, and as I’ve beautifully demonstrated, I would be terrible in a classroom setting.  I know I’m older than students you (Mrs. Stein) usually teach, and I’m younger than students you (Professor Stein) usually teach, but I’m willing to learn from both of you; yet I understand if only one or neither of you want to work around me._

Both elders looked up and blinked speechlessly at Solnishko, whose lips formed a tightrope while he ducked his head toward the table and traced his fingers across it.  The Mardons pouted at their grandparents expectantly.

“Your portfolio is excellent,” Clarissa cited a bar scene, pointing to a laughing man. “I can feel the joy you felt for this piece and the love you feel for this man.”

“....You have survived unimaginable tsuris, Mr. Rory,” Martin finally spoke with his palms out in front of him, then slapped his hand on his heart and flourished at Clarissa. “Both of us would be honored to teach you even if you did answer every question incorrectly because you are willing to learn—all three of you are, which is refreshing and counts for a lot—yet as it happens, you are the only student in any of my classes who answered every question correctly.”

“See! We told you had absolutely nothing to worry about!” Clyde ruffled Solnishko’s hair victoriously.

Confusion scrunched Solnishko’s eyebrows, so he raised his hand cuz that’s what you’re supposed to do when you have a question for a teacher.  Martin and Clarissa told him it was fine to take turns like a normal conversation since there were only five of them.

“When can we start?”

“How does right now sound?” Clarissa asked, to which Solnishko nodded with sparkling eyes.  Martin moved to grab scholastic materials when Clyde stopped him.

“Can we teach you two something first?” Clyde held up both hands to halt him. “Trust me, you’re gonna wanna know this.”

The Steins humored them.  The twins and Solnishko taught them how to sign their favorite animals in CSL.  To finish up, they all went around the table.

Clarissa smiled especially pleased with herself, “((I love rough collies.))”

Martin stuttered, “((I lo-lovvvve border collies.))”

“((We love foxes,))” the twins signed together.

“((I love ________,))” the elders hadn’t seen the last sign Solnishko used before: vocabulary the twins deliberately kept from them until this moment.

Both twins wore mischievously joyful grins while Clyde enlightened them, “It’s the sign for ‘raccoon’!”

Befuddled, the elders blinked speechlessly a second time.  Martin’s mouth gaped and his hands fell onto the table palms-first while Clarissa’s eyes dampened after they glanced at their quilt again.

“Servus, Oma und Opa,” Solnishko greeted tearfully.

The Steins and the Mardons gathered him into a hug while Clarissa wept, “Welcome home, Solnishko....”

3 Batman

Shawna sighed her relief, stood up, and wiped her hands after she moved her last box into Grammy’s house—now her house.  She’d refrained from moving in immediately because neither her nor Batman wanted anybody to say, “Nightwing hasn't appeared since Lashawn Baez left Gotham.  Bruce Wayne bought a house in Central connected to Lashawn Baez as soon as it went up for sale.  Bruce Wayne's the right build to be Batman; Lashawn Baez is the right build to be Nightwing. Hmm....”

Shawna left Batman and Solnishko upstairs to set up the basement—or as Batman preferred: the batbasement.  This was completely ridiculous.  Shawna redubbed it the Nightcave.

Batman straightened a photograph of him, Shawna, the Teen Titans, and Grammy from that fateful subway encounter two years ago.  He crinkled his Kevlar-covered fists.  Grammy was the first person outside of his family who never doubted he’d find Catwoman alive, and ever since Grammy died, Batman had given up on himself.

Solnishko ceased speed-unpacking dishes to encourage him, “You’ll find her one day.  Mick wasn’t even looking for me, and he found me!  I love Mick and all, but Mick’s Mick; you’re Batman!  Everything’s easy for you… especially not crying....”

“ **Crying is nothing to be ashamed of; it means you care,** ” Batman looked up at Solnishko.  Batman blinked and exhaled his exhaustion, “ **And everything is not easy for me.  Being my civilian identity is as difficult for me as it is for you to be Barry Allen.** ”

Solnishko’s eyes bugged out at the caped crusader being just like him.  Who was this imposter and where was the real Dark Knight!?!

Batman continued as the boys ambled over to a bloated, paisley couch that screeched when they sat down on it: Batman straighter than a homophobe, Solnishko slouching like a delinquent, “ **My civilian identity is expected to emote, enjoy spontaneous physical affection, and accept that my best friend is dead....  Catwoman was the first person outside of my family to accept me exactly as I am, and one night while we out on patrol, she vanished in blur.** ”

“....Was there red lightning in this blur?”

“ **No,** ” Batman sniffled, looking up at Solnishko again with swampy eyelids.

“Well, it still might’ve been der Mann in Gelb.  His lightning stopped showing up years ago,” Solnishko hypothesized. “Mick found me in fourteen years without even trying; you’re gonna find her so much faster cuz you’re looking for her!”

His faith renewed, Batman agreed with a resolute nod.  Shawna emerged to find Batman hugging Solnishko.  Shawna knew Solnishko radiated ten litters of kittens and puppies’ worth of “I’m adorbs; love me!” yet she never expected the goddamn Batman to fall under its sway so speedily.

“After you find Catwoman, will you help me find which road the chicken crossed?” Solnishko tilted his head and counted out fingers manically. “I’ve asked Lenny, Shawna, and Piper; and none of ‘em know the answer!  So I came with Shawna today cuz even if you don’t know, you can figure it out.”

Batman squinted as he rifled through his encyclopedic brain for an answer, “ **....There’s a Rooster Road downtown; perhaps they are referring to that.** ”

Solnishko zipped into Shawna’s face, “Shawnashawnashawnashawnashawna! We need to set up a chicken crossing sign on Rooster Road!  Schools have children crossing signs cuz kids are hard for drivers to see, so how much harder must it be for drivers to see chickens!?  Chickens are becoming roadkill as we speak!!!”

“ **I shall accompany him,** ” Batman volunteered when Shawna clearly did not want to leave what might as well have been her childhood home: her musty, cozy, quilt-strewn home. “ **I’ve memorized the entirety of _How to Care for Solnishko Rory_ , including the latest update.**”

“Of course you have,” Shawna rolled her redwood eyes as she texted Mick about handing his baby brother over to Batman.  Mick all-capsed his concerns until Len butted in and okayed their field trip.

Solnishko speed-tied his sneakers and donned his hispid blazer.  The duo stepped onto the veranda when Solnishko asked, “So if you’re rich enough to buy Shawna’s house, why don’t you help Shawna pay her tuition?”

Batman kept his mouth closed.  This wasn’t his normal, nothing-to-say silence; this was his pleading-the-fifth silence.  Outraged, Shawna huffed, “Bats! We’ve talked about this; I will get by on what I know, not who I know!  I don’t have time to run background checks on every scholarship I apply for!”

“ **Then I suppose you shall continue receiving my money,** ” Batman fled into the batmobile with Solnishko riding shotgun.

The duo bolted a nonagonal sign with a yellow-orange background and blocky, black text into defrosting earth.  Some folks came over and questioned their permission to do this, to which Batman would present his paperwork: a bat-shaped, gaudy yellow sticky note which stated in authoritative penmanship, “I’m the goddamn Batman; that’s my permission!”

Batman and Solnishko took an ussie with their sign between them.  Afterwards, Batman asked, “ **Is there anything else you’d like to do?** ”

“Two things, actually, but we can only do one, and neither of ‘em can be done in a day,” Solnishko informed him sadly.

“ **You wish to open a shoelace museum/raccoon sanctuary.** ”

“You can do both!?  I’ve been trying to pick between them for so long!”

“ **The key to any venture is finding a niche and filling it,** ” Batman vowed to corner the shoelace-loving, raccoon-saving market.

“We should invite Piper.  He went from dirt poor to owning a home in under a year with his business-y knowledge, so he’d be a big help.”

Batman consented.  Rathaway Industries had severed ties with Wayne Enterprises ever since the Wayne Foundation began funding shelters for LGBT youths.  Hartley Rathaway himself actually lived in one for a few months while he shuffled his revenue from his job at STAR Labs into key investments.  Batman may or may not have ensured those investments would result in profits.  He admired Hartley’s courage to be himself.  Hartley Rathaway was as heterosexual as Batman was Bruce Wayne.

_Blitz: Batman & I are opening up a shoelace museum/raccoon sanctuary! U want in???_

Every minute Hartley spent with his Lilo was another minute he spent telling his parents “fuck you” and having a blast while doing it, so no wonder he didn’t hesitate to reply.

_Jump Cannon: Bring it!_

Tall, dark, and brooding Doctor Wells entered minutes before Hartley flurried out singing, “[You can lie to yourself and your minions / you can claim that you haven’t a qualm / but you never can run from nor hide what you’ve done from the eyes / the very eyes of Notre Dame!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-VPrpo52hI)”

Doctor Wells stood dumbfounded on the threshold wondering if he’d entered the Twilight Zone.  The “days since a Hartmon incident” board displayed a two-digit number in which both digits contained values higher than one, Hartley Rathaway was in love with a Disney movie, and Francisco Ramon Allen was working.

Cisco’s head leaped up from a pair of thingamajigs on his landfill-like desk so he could protest, “I get plenty of work done!”

“When I’m keeping an eye on you,” Caitlin scoffed, her eyes boring into her microscope.

Cisco stuck his tongue out at his sister.  She responded to his affection with an ugly face before returning to her work.  Miraculously, so did Cisco.  Doctor Wells ambled over to Cisco’s desk and asked what was holding his attention.

“Hartley’s Lilo’s idea: one button aids hearing, one button suppresses hearing.”

“Doctor Rathaway is deaf,” Doctor Wells’ eyelid twitched with incredulous befuddlement; Cisco and Hartley were competently collaborating!? “What does he need hearing suppressors for???”

It really said something about Hartley’s reputation that Caitlin only needed to say one word to keep Doctor Wells from questioning them further, “Sexcapades.”

The real reason behind these unique implants was that in the original timeline, Pied Piper suffered whenever his suppressors were removed.  Obviously, Hartley couldn’t walk around deaf until whenever the mass-empowering event deigned to occur, so Solnishko fed Hartley and Cisco the concept of dual-purpose implants.

“....With his Lilo?”

“No!!!” both Caitlin and Cisco howled at him disgustedly.

“....What the hell is a Lilo anyway???”

“Lilos keep Stitches from obliterating everything, and Stitches keep Lilos from getting lonely,” Caitlin explained as if this was common knowledge, which in their ‘ohana, it was.

Cisco despairingly continued finagling his wiry tools, “Hartley’s Lilo taught me that pretty much everybody who interacts with Hartley is a Gantu; Gantus hate Stitches.  I can’t change how everybody else treats him, but I can change how I treat him.  Hopefully, one day, I’ll become a Jumba....  Stitch and Jumba started out fighting, but they became ‘ohana eventually.”

“You already are, Hermano,” Caitlin encouraged him. “He may be a vegetarian who dresses too formally and doesn’t speak Russian or German, but we all squeezed each other’s hands four times and meant it.”

Doctor Wells departed before he contracted whatever insanity was infecting those three after he swiped a sketch he’d spotted framed on Hartley’s desk in the split-second he spent turning around.  The Allens were none the wiser.  Less than a handful of people knew about his superhuman speed; the first was his angel within, the second was presumably burned alive since Heatwave was too impulsive to check his kindling, and the third was secured.  He only took Selina Kyle to distract Batman from searching for his best friend in the original timeline—if anybody had a contingency for a timeline reset, it was the Dark Knight.

Doctor Wells locked the door behind him.  His office was a dimly-lit grotto stippled with awards for both humanitarian efforts and scientific breakthroughs; none of them dated back before fourteen years ago.  Not a single photo of Tess Morgan, Christina McGee, or any acquaintances invaded this place.

He shattered the shell around the illustration: a scene starring speckled Hartley laughing while sinewy Shawna and casual Caitlin rolled their eyes at off-screen antics at a bar counter.  The background was achromatic, but the characters were green, brown, and blue, respectively.  It was captioned thusly, “I spent so long wishing I could draw you smiling and with some friends and now I finally can!”

Doctor Wells shredded it at superspeed and watched the shards flutter in slow motion.  He chuckled and bided his time, “ **Until we meet again, Flash.** ”

4 & 5 Captain Singh and Rob

Trimly medium Captain Singh locked his baconburger inside his desk mere moments before his boyfriend waltzed in with a dreaded garlic and herb wrap for each of them.  Rob was under the mistaken impression—which Singh perpetuated with false smiles and forced swallows—that these odiferous tubes of seafood salad were the best firecrackers to ever grace the planet.

“Merry lunch, bae,” Rob stole a kiss on Singh’s face-hugging beard. “Today marks the six-month anniversary of improving your diet!”

Six months: that’s how long ago Singh’s angel had dragged him into culinary hell.

Singh pretended he was in heaven and pecked Rob’s clean-shaven cheek.  Singh’s baconburger fingered his nostrils and taunted his tongue as he desecrated both with Rob’s abomination.  Rob had consumed about a quarter of his wrap and Singh was about to stop procrastinating to take another bite of his own when Detective West let himself and spidery jailbait in.  The husky officer barely finished introductions when the raccoon-beanied boy skittered up to Rob and held out an autograph book, “Will you sign this please?  I want Captain Singh to sign it too, but Captain Singh’s famous cuz he’s a captain; there’s tons of captains running around, but there’s only one Rob: Keeper of the Robbies and that’s you!”

Rob couldn’t deny that request—or that face; good grief, if Solnishko Rory ever committed a crime, Singh would have to beg Lewis to come back because nobody on the force would resist Solnishko’s wiles—even if he wanted to.  Rob flipped to a free page.  Batman, Nightwing, Robin, Starfire, Raven, Cyborg, Beast Boy, and somebody named Piper had already claimed the first few pages.

Singh set his unholy lunch on his paper plate and asked, “So you have a Robbie?”

“No, Robbie belongs to Mark and Clyde,” Solnishko shook his head, “but sometimes they leave her at my house—or I’ll leave Captain Songh at their house—cuz Robbie and Captain Songh go together.”

Rob looked at Singh and agreed endearingly, “Yes, yes they do.”

“What’s Songh captain of?” okay, maybe Singh was charmed as well.

“She’s the captain of the K9 Cops,” Solnishko said as he stashed his autograph book in a cyan messenger bag with a raccoon keychain plushie. “There’s only two of ‘em now, so really, she only leads one.”

Rob asked with his chin in his hands and his elbows on Singh’s desk, “Why are there only two K9 Cops?”

“Uncle Joe says Songh fired the rest of ‘em,” Solnishko reported matter-of-factly; Joe rolled his eyes and formed a toothless grin, yet otherwise stayed out of the conversation. “They all kept telling Songh and Robbie, ‘Hurry up and get hitched; we want puppies, dammit!’  But at least Detective Joey never participated in the betting pool.”

 _Betting pool!?_ Singh mouthed his mortification to Joe, who nodded and hummed his reply.  Singh slumped back in his emerald-cushioned chair.  Rob would’ve asked for more misadventures of the Plush Menagerie if a stylish blond’s entrance hadn’t scrambled Solnishko into a shadowy corner.  Captain Singh could’ve sworn he heard metal ring behind him.

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you for being scared to say anything, because I have something to say, and I’m terrified I’ll mess it up,” Eddie gulped, ducked his head low, and took a cop-costumed pug out of a Build-a-Bear Workshop box. “This is Pawne.  When he was a puppy, all of his classmates and cousins picked on him for being a fat runt; then his classmates hated him even more after his father closed down the factory where everybody else’s parents worked.  Pawne moved to Central City so he could finally make some friends, but he forgot that the best way to make friends is to be a friend first.”

Solnishko tiptoed over to Eddie and hugged Pawne, “Captain Songh will be so happy!  She can send Detective Joey and Detective Pawne out on missions so she can eat whatever she wants without Robbie finding out!”

Rob turned on Singh, “Oh really!?”

“If I were Captain Songh, I would never ever ever ever ever ever cheat on my diet,” Singh pounced at any chance to do damage control.  He grinned nervously under Rob’s crushing scrutiny, “except at Detective Joey’s famous midsummer barbeque, because Detective Joey’s famous midsummer barbeque is the exception to all diets.”

“And if I were Robbie, I would tell Captain Songh that I love her whether or not she stays faithful to her diet, but we will be discussing this when she comes home tonight.”

Rob left in a huff.  Singh vowed to dock Joe’s pay because his explosive snickers meant he was deriving too much enjoyment out of his boss being in the doghouse.

Iris burst forth with her phone declaring Eddie’s diligence, “You did the heart ritual!”

“Oh no! I’m ruined!” Eddie blushed at a video of him kissing Pawne’s heart. “Wait, where did you get this footage!?”

“ **From me,** ” Batman said as he put away his batarang, landed from the ceiling—startling Singh and Eddie—and joined Solnishko’s side.  His jagged cape shrouded his doubled-by-Kevlar frame.

Iris looked at Eddie with adoring eyes, “Pawne may bark and snarl a lot, but underneath it all, he’s really sweet, and if I were Vinnie van Gogh, I would ask him out.”

Steam escaped Joe’s ears and his eyeballs bloated when Eddie eventually realized, “Vinnie van Gogh just asked Pawne out!”

“Cremation or burial?” Captain Singh asked nonchalantly.

“Vinnie van Gogh just asked Pawne out!!”

“ **Assuming anybody can find your body,** ” Batman added. “ **I’m a problem-solver, not a miracle-worker**.”

“Vinnie van Gogh just asked Pawne out!!!”

“Vinnie van Gogh just asked Pawne out,” Joe closed in on Eddie’s throat. “If I was Detective Joey, I would tell Pawne, ‘Roses are red, violets are blue; you mess my daughter, I will castrate you!’”

“Vinnie van Gogh just asked Pawne out....” reality set in for Eddie. “Pawne’s going to fucking die!”

“Or more likely, die fucking,” Iris grinned.

Joe barked, “Iris!”

“Why’s everybody so upset?” Solnishko wondered out loud. “Detective Joey and Vinnie van Gogh aren’t even here.”

“Iris and Batman will explain in the car,” Joe softened for his nephew. “I’ll be down in a couple minutes, kids, Eddie and I gotta chat with Captain Singh.”

“If you threaten me, Joe, Captain Singh is legally required to take it seriously,” Eddie pointed a trembling finger at their boss as the other three departed.

“I will threaten you later,” Joe poked Eddie’s chest, “but this ain’t about that.”

“It’s him, isn’t it, Joe?” Singh leaned forward on his desk. “Shoelace Bandit?”

“Yep,” Joe nodded firmly.  Eddie was clearly outside the in joke if his scrunched eyebrows meant anything.

“And extenuating circumstances mean we need to keep his return quiet?”

“Yep.”

Eddie’s mouth gaped and he looked at Joe when realization dawned on him.

“And these circumstances are so extenuating we shouldn’t place him in witness protection?”

Joe chuckled, folded his arms, and quirked an eyebrow, “His best friend is the goddamn Batman; what additional protection does he need???”

The rest of his shift was as quiet as it ever got, so Singh managed the miracle of going home on time.  He squirmed through his door.  Shootouts, hostage negotiations, and bombers couldn’t possibly compare to his boyfriend’s wrath.  Singh had only witnessed it a handful of times since they’d been dating, and the first time was enough to convince him to never desire to be on the receiving end of it.

Singh crept into the living room and spun around with a hissing inhalation because Rob popped up behind him outta nowhere.  Rob wore a scorching smile and maniacally wide eyes when he caught Singh’s left hand.  Rob crouched to one knee and revealed a ring from his pocket, “Will you be the Captain Songh to my Robbie?”

It was the dorkiest proposal in the history of proposing, yet Singh charged into a tearful hug and said yes anyway.  All proceeds from the betting pool went to their honeymoon fund even though the two winners—last minute entries—wouldn’t be able to attend the wedding.  Most likely, one would be in either the hospital or the morgue while the other would be in jail on assault or murder charges.

+1 Mutti

Nora Allen shoved open the saloon-style, washboard doors to Saints & Sinners and spoke dauntlessly, “I haven’t heard a single Ratharant in months, my daughter doesn’t blame herself for everything that goes wrong in the universe anymore, my niece and brother-in-law are at peace, and my parents-in-law are excited to teach again.  The only thing they all have in common is an angel named Solnishko Rory; I need to thank him for leaving heaven to work a miracle in my family.  Where is he???”

Most of Saints & Sinners’ patrons were drowning their sorrows of either not having a mother anymore or never having a mother at all, so none of them paid her any mind.  However, a boho-bold bartender flagged her towards the stairs, “First door on the right.”

Nora thanked her and then said, “I don’t know if you have a mother, so I’ll say happy Family Day.”

“None of us do,” Shawna informed her sullenly, thinking of Grammy, as she wiped down the racetrack counter, “except Solnishko.  He doesn’t remember her, but he’ll meet her again today.”

“Oh! In that case, I can come back anoth—”

Nora barely backtracked before Shawna implored her to stay, “Solnishko’s mother would insist you spend as much time with him as you want.”

Nora chucked her confusion with a chuckle and found Batman standing guard over the aforementioned room.  Batman briefed her on Solnishko retreating here to recover from mentalist ruffians before he allowed her to enter.

“Mutti!” Solnishko chirped at her entrance, then flustered an apology, “I-I’m sorry—Cait and Hermano talk about you all the time—”

“It’s alright,” Nora sat down on polished wood and leaned in furtively. “Wanna know a secret?  Iris, Mark, and Clyde sometimes call me Mutti, too.  I have so many kids in my life, I look up when anybody says ‘mom’.”

“Wow....” Solnishko gazed at her with awe. “....You’re the expert on all things Hermano, yeah?”

Nora nodded with air giggling through her nose, “I would like to think so, yes.”

“Does he prefer to be called Cisco or Cisquito?  Sometimes, he acts like he hates Cisquito, yet other times, he acts like it’s okay.”

“Well,” Nora clapped her hands together before patting Solnishko’s shoulder, “the kids and I call him Cisco when he’s behaving himself and Cisquito when he’s not—or when we just want to annoy him.”

Enlightenment shined through Solnishko’s marble eyes as if Nora was Einstein, "Danke for the Plush Menagerie!  It was your idea to take Iris to Build-a-Bear Workshop because she didn't have any siblings to buy presents for like Cait did.  I never had any plushies growing up, but now I have a store's worth of 'em!"

"Nichts zu danken," said Nora.  She never imagined that cheering up her niece all those years ago would touch the life of a stranger.  Her cranberry hair flounced as she spotted every member of the Plush Menagerie.  It took her mere seconds to notice Noire, Doctor Garrick, Leah da Vinci, Leia da Vinci, Vinnie van Gogh, Molly, Detective Joey, Collissa, Professor Collin, and Sally Dalí were in a circle with a sweatered raccoon just outside it.  She pulled the critter into her lap, “This one’s new.”

“Leah and Sally are trying to set up a meeting between him and Doctor Garrick, but Doctor Garrick’s always working....  Noire and Doctor Garrick wouldn’t have adopted #FAR Junior anyway; they only kept him around cuz he was born into their family.  Nobody wants a raccoon in their family.  Raccoons freak out at everything, need tons of breaks, and can’t do anything by themselves....”

Nora’s smile plateaued.  She squeezed Solnishko’s hand four times—a gesture he never expected to receive—and told him, “Raccoons need a little extra help sometimes, and that’s okay; we all need a little extra help sometimes.  If I was Noire, I’d be glad #FAR Junior was born into my family because he didn’t have to wait for a family who loved him.”

Solnishko whimpered, “But my family had to wait for me.”

“And that was not your fault, Sternchen,” Noire embraced him with lakes in her eyes, “the important thing is, you’re back now.”

Solnishko slumped and sniffled over her shoulder, “....Happy Mother’s Day, Mutti.”

The End!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they all lived happily ever after.... Mwahahahahaha!!!
> 
> Thanks for taking time to read this, everyone :) Enjoy what you do here and everywhere! See ya!


	2. Commentary

Welcome to the long overdue commentary of 5+1.  I abstained from commentating initially because I felt it was too short for a commentary, and then I commentated on not just one, but 2 fics that were longer than this, so I figured it was time to suck it up and commentate.  I guess the best benefit of commentating late is that the fic feels fresh to me.

 

I've always wanted to write a 5+1 fic, and I've finally figured out an idea that doesn't suck! *cue confetti*  Granted, with the way it’s formatted, it’s more like a 3+1 fic, but whatever.

All renditions of "if I was" were inspired by Henry's "if I was Flash's father" speech from the show.

For those of you playing at home, Batman is Gotham Bruce Wayne wearing Nolanverse armor & packing Adam West Batman bat-shark repellent.  Catwoman is Gotham Selina Kyle + her Nolanverse gear.

 

1 & 2

_Professor Stein looked up from his drudgery of 72s, 24s, and the grand prize winner—a straight up 0_

hahahaha

This is actually really depressing if you think about it: morbid humor at its finest :D

One of the biggest things motivating my mother to NOT become a teacher is a lot of parents in our district either don't care about their kids or are convinced their kids are brilliant angels.

As an entity who was once a student in our school district, I feel confident in declaring those parents who are in the latter group are wrong.

 

_A single bite of one of Clarissa’s sugar cookies with rainbow sprinkles tasted and smelled better than every assignment received from all of their squirrels combined._

_Martin had one last test to grade and then he’d be free to enjoy this shining weekend with his wife and surrogate grandsons instead of being encumbered by the odor of underachieving collegiates.  He sighed because he felt conflicted.  If its taker performed as poorly as the rest of his students, he’d be done in ten minutes; yet on the other hand, he yearned for its taker to make him take longer._

Some of the most discouraging things a student can do to a teacher are not try and not pay attention, which is what Martin and Clarissa’s students have been doing, respectively.  This fic’s Solnishko-centric, yet everybody else has lives too: Martin’s a professor and Clarissa’s an elementary school teacher with an intense art background.

 

_Martin couldn’t remember if he even glanced at the name before he began grading it._

This is how disillusioned/disenchanted/disappointed he is with his students.  I dunno if their performance spiraled downward after Solnishko’s abduction of it’s always been like this, but good grief Martin’s underappreciated.

 

_He ensured he was wearing his heavy, black glasses.  He wouldn’t put it past himself after he slogged through a thesis that seemed to have survived nuclear warfare until he realized they were chilling on the bookshelf._

Hahahaha

Ah the joys of needing glasses B)

 

_“He specializes in chiaroscuro and split-complementary color schemes.”_

A split-complementary color scheme is a color scheme that selects a color and uses two colors adjacent to its complement.  For example, if the base color is yellow, then you’d accompany it with red-purple and blue-purple.

Chiaroscuro is the extreme contrast between light and darkness for extra special loveliness.  The term itself literally means “light dark”.

 

_A hand-painted, wooden sign saying “thank you for removing your shoes” hung beside their door._

This is canon.  The Steins are living in their canon home in case that’s not clear.

 

_Clyde almost banged on the door when Mark stopped him.  Solnishko trembled and hugged himself.  Mark grounded him with a hand on his shoulder while Clyde said, “Mark and I don’t know jack shit, yet somehow we’re better than Grandma and Grandpa’s actual students.  They both know ASL, and we’re teaching ‘em CSL, and if all else fails, you can write what you want to say cuz they love reading!”_

Awwwwwwww

 

_Clyde nodded with his teeth showing as Mark signed, “(We didn’t stick around the first time we met because we didn’t believe somebody would ever want both of us, but we’re at peace with that decision because it would’ve taken us a lot longer to meet our little buddy if we stayed.)”_

Awwwwwwww

I definitely wrote this fourth of the fic with Mark and Clyde’s fears that Solnishko would lose interest in them in mind.  Hopefully, moments like this plus whatever’s going on in between installments has put their fears to rest.

 

_Clyde handed Clarissa a quilt, “You knitted us scarves and cooked us dinner all those years ago and knitted us new scarves this year, so we finally got our asses in gear to make something for you!  Mark designed it while I did all the actual work.” Mark bunted Clyde’s arm. “Most of the work.” Mark bunted Clyde’s arm again. “I may not be able to spell half the words in the English language, but I can math, and I’d say I did at least 40% of the work.”_

Awwwww & lol

 

_“(He’s usually super cuddly,)” Mark explained sadly, “(but after fourteen years of nothing new and nobody new, new folks and places freak him out.)”_

_“Fourteen years?” both elders were appalled._

_“(Between Lewis and the bastard who had him, he would’ve been better off with Lewis...._

Because if he was with Lewis, at least he would’ve had Len and Lisa to keep him safe and help him escape :( :( :( :( :(

 

_“((All life is precious,))” Martin signed his motto before switching to speaking out loud because he had no clue how to sign what Solnishko to hear in CSL. “Yes, I am a scientist, but I am a family man first and a teacher second.  I would never engage in nonconsensual experimentation.”_

Awwwwwwwwwww

 

_My portfolio is full of crap and I probably got every single question wrong on the test Iris gave me, and as I’ve beautifully demonstrated, I would be terrible in a classroom setting.  I know I’m older than students you (Mrs. Stein) usually teach, and I’m younger than students you (Professor Stein) usually teach, but I’m willing to learn from both of you; yet I understand if only one or neither of you want to work around me._

Rule #1 (for myself) stop having Solnishko write letters.  They’re too damn depressing :(

 

_“Your portfolio is excellent,” Clarissa cited a bar scene, pointing to a laughing man. “I can feel the joy you felt for this piece and the love you feel for this man.”_

This is the picture der Mann in Gelb tears up later on (or at least a copy of it)

 

_“....You have survived unimaginable tsuris, Mr. Rory,” Martin finally spoke with his palms out in front of him, then slapped his hand on his heart and flourished at Clarissa. “Both of us would be honored to teach you even if you did answer every question incorrectly because you are willing to learn—all three of you are, which is refreshing and counts for a lot—yet as it happens, you are the only student in any of my classes who answered every question correctly.”_

_“See! We told you had absolutely nothing to worry about!” Clyde ruffled Solnishko’s hair victoriously._

Awwwwww

 

_“((I love ________,))” the elders hadn’t seen the last sign Solnishko used before: vocabulary the twins deliberately kept from them until this moment._

_Both twins wore mischievously joyful grins while Clyde enlightened them, “It’s the sign for ‘raccoon’!”_

_Befuddled, the elders blinked speechlessly a second time.  Martin’s mouth gaped and his hands fell onto the table palms-first while Clarissa’s eyes dampened after they glanced at their quilt again._

_“Servus, Oma und Opa,” Solnishko greeted tearfully._

_The Steins and the Mardons gathered him into a hug while Clarissa wept, “Welcome home, Solnishko....”_

Awwwwww

 

3

So I imagine this fourth of the fic takes place during February break and that STAR Earth’s particle accelerator exploded on June 1st, which places the finale in March (assuming Henry’s in a coma for nine months).

 

_Shawna left Batman and Solnishko upstairs to set up the basement—or as Batman preferred: the batbasement.  This was completely ridiculous.  Shawna redubbed it the Nightcave._

Lol

 

_Solnishko ceased speed-unpacking dishes to encourage him, “You’ll find her one day.  Mick wasn’t even looking for me, and he found me!  I love Mick and all, but Mick’s Mick; you’re Batman!_

Awwww

 

_Everything’s easy for you… especially not crying....”_

_“ **Crying is nothing to be ashamed of; it means you care,** ”_

Awwwwwww

 

_Batman looked up at Solnishko.  Batman blinked and exhaled his exhaustion, “ **And everything is not easy for me.  Being my civilian identity is as difficult for me as it is for you to be Barry Allen.** ”_

_Solnishko’s eyes bugged out at the caped crusader being just like him.  Who was this imposter and where was the real Dark Knight!?!_

_Batman continued as the boys ambled over to a bloated, paisley couch that screeched when they sat down on it: Batman straighter than a homophobe, Solnishko slouching like a delinquent, “ **My civilian identity is expected to emote, enjoy spontaneous physical affection, and accept that my best friend is dead....**_

:(

 

_“Mick found me in fourteen years without even trying; you’re gonna find her so much faster cuz you’re looking for her!”_

_His faith renewed, Batman agreed with a resolute nod.  Shawna emerged to find Batman hugging Solnishko.  Shawna knew Solnishko radiated ten litters of kittens and puppies’ worth of “I’m adorbs; love me!” yet she never expected the goddamn Batman to fall under its sway so speedily._

Awwwwww

I swear, half this fic is me jampacking as much cute as humanly possible.

 

_“After you find Catwoman, will you help me find which road the chicken crossed?” Solnishko tilted his head and counted out fingers manically. “I’ve asked Lenny, Shawna, and Piper; and none of ‘em know the answer!  So I came with Shawna today cuz even if you don’t know, you can figure it out.”_

_Batman squinted as he rifled through his encyclopedic brain for an answer, “ **....There’s a Rooster Road downtown; perhaps they are referring to that.** ”_

_Solnishko zipped into Shawna’s face, “Shawnashawnashawnashawnashawna! We need to set up a chicken crossing sign on Rooster Road!  Schools have children crossing signs cuz kids are hard for drivers to see, so how much harder must it be for drivers to see chickens!?  Chickens are becoming roadkill as we speak!!!”_

Hahahahahaha

 

_Solnishko speed-tied his sneakers and donned his hispid blazer.  The duo stepped onto the veranda when Solnishko asked, “So if you’re rich enough to buy Shawna’s house, why don’t you help Shawna pay her tuition?”_

_Batman kept his mouth closed.  This wasn’t his normal, nothing-to-say silence; this was his pleading-the-fifth silence.  Outraged, Shawna huffed, “Bats! We’ve talked about this; I will get by on what I know, not who I know!  I don’t have time to run background checks on every scholarship I apply for!”_

_“ **Then I suppose you shall continue receiving my money,** ” Batman fled into the batmobile with Solnishko riding shotgun._

Lol Batman fears Shawna hahahahaha

 

_The duo bolted a nonagonal sign with a yellow-orange background and blocky, black text into defrosting earth.  Some folks came over and questioned their permission to do this, to which Batman would present his paperwork: a bat-shaped, gaudy yellow sticky note which stated in authoritative penmanship, “I’m the goddamn Batman; that’s my permission!”_

Hahahaha

Batsticky notes

Yes. Just yes.

 

_Batman and Solnishko took an ussie with their sign between them.  Afterwards, Batman asked, “ **Is there anything else you’d like to do?** ”_

_“Two things, actually, but we can only do one, and neither of ‘em can be done in a day,” Solnishko informed him sadly._

_“ **You wish to open a shoelace museum/raccoon sanctuary.** ”_

_“You can do both!?  I’ve been trying to pick between them for so long!”_

_“ **The key to any venture is finding a niche and filling it,** ” Batman vowed to corner the shoelace-loving, raccoon-saving market._

Awwwwwwww

 

_Blitz: Batman & I are opening up a shoelace museum/raccoon sanctuary! U want in???_

Every minute Hartley spent with his Lilo was another minute he spent telling his parents “fuck you” and having a blast while doing it, so no wonder he didn’t hesitate to reply.

_Jump Cannon: Bring it!_

[Annie Jump Cannon](http://famousastronomers.org/annie-jump-cannon/) was an astronomer (two of Solnishko’s nicknames—Sternchen and Zvezdochko—mean “little star”) who was mostly deaf and endured a lot of crap. Ta-da.  She did a lot of work in star classification, worked for one of her professors, and contracted scarlet fever--SOMUCHPUNPOTENTIAL PUNTENTIAL!!!

 

_Tall, dark, and brooding Doctor Wells entered minutes before Hartley flurried out singing, “[You can lie to yourself and your minions / you can claim that you haven’t a qualm / but you never can run from nor hide what you’ve done from the eyes / the very eyes of Notre Dame!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-VPrpo52hI)”_

_Doctor Wells stood dumbfounded on the threshold wondering if he’d entered the Twilight Zone.  The “days since a Hartmon incident” board displayed a two-digit number in which both digits contained values higher than one, Hartley Rathaway was in love with a Disney movie, and Francisco Ramon Allen was working._

_Cisco’s head leaped up from a pair of thingamajigs on his landfill-like desk so he could protest, “I get plenty of work done!”_

_“When I’m keeping an eye on you,” Caitlin scoffed, her eyes boring into her microscope._

Lol

 

_“Doctor Rathaway is deaf,” Doctor Wells’ eyelid twitched with incredulous befuddlement; Cisco and Hartley were competently collaborating!? “What does he need hearing suppressors for???”_

_It really said something about Hartley’s reputation that Caitlin only needed to say one word to keep Doctor Wells from questioning them further, “Sexcapades.”_

Lol

 

_The real reason behind these unique implants was that in the original timeline, Pied Piper suffered whenever his suppressors were removed.  Obviously, Hartley couldn’t walk around deaf until whenever the mass-empowering event deigned to occur, so Solnishko fed Hartley and Cisco the concept of dual-purpose implants._

Awwwww

 

_“....With his Lilo?”_

_“No!!!” both Caitlin and Cisco howled at him disgustedly._

:) :D :3

 

_Cisco despairingly continued finagling his wiry tools, “Hartley’s Lilo taught me that pretty much everybody who interacts with Hartley is a Gantu; Gantus hate Stitches.  I can’t change how everybody else treats him, but I can change how I treat him.  Hopefully, one day, I’ll become a Jumba....  Stitch and Jumba started out fighting, but they became ‘ohana eventually.”_

_“You already are, Hermano,” Caitlin encouraged him. “He may be a vegetarian who dresses too formally and doesn’t speak Russian or German, but we all squeezed each other’s hands four times and meant it.”_

Awwwwwwww

Cisco feels!

 

_if anybody had a contingency for a timeline reset, it was the Dark Knight._

Search your feelings, you know this to be true!

 

_speckled Hartley laughing while sinewy Shawna and casual Caitlin rolled their eyes at off-screen antics at a bar counter.  The background was achromatic, but the characters were green, brown, and blue, respectively.  It was captioned thusly, “I spent so long wishing I could draw you smiling and with some friends and now I finally can!”_

awwwwwwww

 

_Doctor Wells shredded it at superspeed and watched the shards flutter in slow motion.  He chuckled and bided his time, “ **Until we meet again, Flash.** ”_

AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

 

4 & 5 

_Trimly medium Captain Singh locked his baconburger inside his desk mere moments before his boyfriend waltzed in with a dreaded garlic and herb wrap for each of them.  Rob was under the mistaken impression—which Singh perpetuated with false smiles and forced swallows—that these odiferous tubes of seafood salad were the best firecrackers to ever grace the planet._

“Merry lunch, bae,” Rob stole a kiss on Singh’s face-hugging beard. “Today marks the six-month anniversary of improving your diet!”

Six months: that’s how long ago Singh’s angel had dragged him into culinary hell.

Lol

 

_The husky officer barely finished introductions when the raccoon-beanied boy skittered up to Rob and held out an autograph book, “Will you sign this please?  I want Captain Singh to sign it too, but Captain Singh’s famous cuz he’s a captain; there’s tons of captains running around, but there’s only one Rob: Keeper of the Robbies and that’s you!”_

Lol so cute

 

_sometimes they leave her at my house—or I’ll leave Captain Songh at their house—cuz Robbie and Captain Songh go together.”_

_Rob looked at Singh and agreed endearingly, “Yes, yes they do.”_

Awwwwwwww

 

_“Why are there only two K9 Cops?”_

_“Uncle Joe says Songh fired the rest of ‘em,” Solnishko reported matter-of-factly; Joe rolled his eyes and formed a toothless grin, yet otherwise stayed out of the conversation. “They all kept telling Songh and Robbie, ‘Hurry up and get hitched; we want puppies, dammit!’  But at least Detective Joey never participated in the betting pool.”_

_Betting pool!?_ _Singh mouthed his mortification to Joe, who nodded and hummed his reply._

Hahahahahaha

 

_“I shouldn’t have yelled at you for being scared to say anything, because I have something to say, and I’m terrified I’ll mess it up,” Eddie gulped, ducked his head low, and took a cop-costumed pug out of a Build-a-Bear Workshop box. “This is Pawne.  When he was a puppy, all of his classmates and cousins picked on him for being a fat runt; then his classmates hated him even more after his father closed down the factory where everybody else’s parents worked.  Pawne moved to Central City so he could finally make some friends, but he forgot that the best way to make friends is to be a friend first.”_

awwww Eddie feels!

 

_Solnishko tiptoed over to Eddie and hugged Pawne, “Captain Songh will be so happy!  She can send Detective Joey and Detective Pawne out on missions so she can eat whatever she wants without Robbie finding out!”_

_Rob turned on Singh, “Oh really!?”_

_“If I were Captain Songh, I would never ever ever ever ever ever cheat on my diet,” Singh pounced at any chance to do damage control.  He grinned nervously under Rob’s crushing scrutiny, “except at Detective Joey’s famous midsummer barbeque, because Detective Joey’s famous midsummer barbeque is the exception to all diets.”_

_“And if I were Robbie, I would tell Captain Songh that I love her whether or not she stays faithful to her diet, but we will be discussing this when she comes home tonight.”_

_Rob left in a huff.  Singh vowed to dock Joe’s pay because his explosive snickers meant he was deriving too much enjoyment out of his boss being in the doghouse._

Hahahahahaha

 

_Iris burst forth with her phone declaring Eddie’s diligence, “You did the heart ritual!”_

_“Oh no! I’m ruined!” Eddie blushed at a video of him kissing Pawne’s heart. “Wait, where did you get this footage!?”_

_“ **From me,** ”_

Hahaha

 

_Iris looked at Eddie with adoring eyes, “Pawne may bark and snarl a lot, but underneath it all, he’s really sweet, and if I were Vinnie van Gogh, I would ask him out.”_

Awwwww

 

_Steam escaped Joe’s ears and his eyeballs bloated when Eddie eventually realized, “Vinnie van Gogh just asked Pawne out!”_

_“Cremation or burial?” Captain Singh asked nonchalantly._

_“Vinnie van Gogh just asked Pawne out!!”_

_“ **Assuming anybody can find your body,** ” Batman added. “ **I’m a problem-solver, not a miracle-worker**.”_

_“Vinnie van Gogh just asked Pawne out!!!”_

_“Vinnie van Gogh just asked Pawne out,” Joe closed in on Eddie’s throat. “If I was Detective Joey, I would tell Pawne, ‘Roses are red, violets are blue; you mess my daughter, I will castrate you!’”_

_“Vinnie van Gogh just asked Pawne out....” reality set in for Eddie. “Pawne’s going to fucking die!”_

_“Or more likely, die fucking,” Iris grinned._

_Joe barked, “Iris!”_

Hahahaha

Batman’s the gift that just keeps on giving!

 

_If you threaten me, Joe, Captain Singh is legally required to take it seriously,” Eddie pointed a trembling finger at their boss as the other three departed._

_“I will threaten you later,” Joe poked Eddie’s chest_

Ha!

 

_“And these circumstances are so extenuating we shouldn’t place him in witness protection?”_

_Joe chuckled, folded his arms, and quirked an eyebrow, “His best friend is the goddamn Batman; what additional protection does he need???”_

Mic drop!

Or maybe badge drop....

Definitely not gun drop.

 

_Will you be the Captain Songh to my Robbie?”_

_It was the dorkiest proposal in the history of proposing, yet Singh charged into a tearful hug and said yes anyway._

Awwwwwww

 

+1

_Nora Allen shoved open the saloon-style, washboard doors to Saints & Sinners and spoke dauntlessly, “I haven’t heard a single Ratharant in months, my daughter doesn’t blame herself for everything that goes wrong in the universe anymore, my niece and brother-in-law are at peace, and my parents-in-law are excited to teach again.  The only thing they all have in common is an angel named Solnishko Rory; I need to thank him for leaving heaven to work a miracle in my family.  Where is he???”_

Do not mess with mama or any of her babies.

Go Nora!

 

_Nora thanked her and then said, “I don’t know if you have a mother, so I’ll say happy Family Day.”_

_“None of us do,” Shawna informed her sullenly, thinking of Grammy_

Shawna feels!

 

_He doesn’t remember her, but he’ll meet her again today.”_

_“Oh! In that case, I can come back anoth—”_

_Nora barely backtracked before Shawna implored her to stay, “Solnishko’s mother would insist you spend as much time with him as you want.”_

Ha!

 

_I have so many kids in my life, I look up when anybody says ‘mom’.”_

An old family acquaintance told me this when I accidently called her “mom”.

 

_“Well,” Nora clapped her hands together before patting Solnishko’s shoulder, “the kids and I call him Cisco when he’s behaving himself and Cisquito when he’s not—or when we just want to annoy him.”_

Hahaha

 

_Danke for the Plush Menagerie!  It was your idea to take Iris to Build-a-Bear Workshop because she didn't have any siblings to buy presents for like Cait did.  I never had any plushies growing up, but now I have a store's worth of 'em!"_

_"Nichts zu danken," said Nora.  She never imagined that cheering up her niece all those years ago would touch the life of a stranger._

We all gotta be careful how we treat people cuz mere mortals don’t know how that’ll come around to bite us in the future.

 

_It took her mere seconds to notice Noire, Doctor Garrick, Leah da Vinci, Leia da Vinci, Vinnie van Gogh, Molly, Detective Joey, Collissa, Professor Collin, and Sally Dalí were in a circle with a sweatered raccoon just outside it.  She pulled the critter into her lap, “This one’s new.”_

I LOVE how Nora INSTANTANEOUSLY recognizes that #FAR Junior is new AND recognizes which plushies represent her family.  She is one smart cookie.

 

_Noire and Doctor Garrick wouldn’t have adopted #FAR Junior anyway_

If you have kids, imagine one of them saying this to you.  If you have no kids, imagine saying this to your parent(s)/gaurdian(s).  If you’re an orphan who has no kids, I’m sorry :(

 

_Nobody wants a raccoon in their family.  Raccoons freak out at everything, need tons of breaks, and can’t do anything by themselves....”_

_Nora’s smile plateaued.  She squeezed Solnishko’s hand four times—a gesture he never expected to receive—and told him, “Raccoons need a little extra help sometimes, and that’s okay; we all need a little extra help sometimes.  If I was Noire, I’d be glad #FAR Junior was born into my family because he didn’t have to wait for a family who loved him.”_

_Solnishko whimpered, “But my family had to wait for me.”_

_“And that was not your fault, Sternchen,” Noire embraced him with lakes in her eyes, “the important thing is, you’re back now.”_

_Solnishko slumped and sniffled over her shoulder, “....Happy Mother’s Day, Mutti.”_

GO NORA!!!

 

Good whatever time it is while you’re reading this.  I'm off to work on the finale.  See ya!


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